Blog a Day 242of365: I’m ready for you this week

I finally relaxed today. It was an odd sensation. I can pinpoint the exact moment. I was sitting in my Aunt and Uncle’s living room. It wasn’t an obviously calming moment. My 8 year old cousin was running around the house for some random reason that made all the sense in the world to her. My 10 year old cousin was rambling about something. I can’t for the life of me remember what and I’m not convinced anyone was actually listening. My Aunt and Mum were talking about a night-time walking marathon that my Aunt is participating in at the end of the month. The exhaustion kicked in and I was completely relaxed. To the point that I could have fallen asleep quite easily, even surrounded by all that activity. It was good to just relax and let go.

Unfortunate that I had to regain some energy somewhere so as to drive home but it was liberating.

I’ve survived ‘hell’ week. I knew it’d be hell and it turned out to be worse than I’d anticipated. I survived it though.

Now, I’m back to the writing grindstone. I much prefer that particular grindstone though. I’ve arranged my To Do list for the next four days until the weekend (I always try to keep weekends clear of writing, it rarely happens but it’s a good aspiration) and I’m ready. The Resolution schedule is lined up nicely for the coming couple of weeks. I’m all ready to phone certain people to request review copies. Sorted.

I forgot to mention the other day. I did succumb to my ‘no new game purchases in August’ thing. Having said that, the game won’t arrive until September so maybe that counts? Yeah, ok, I failed. The rate last week went, I think I did well that I only purchased one game. It was a package deal: The Sims 3, Sims 3: World Adventures and some Design and Hi-Tech stuff expansion pack for £25. It was hard to say no. I deserved it I think.

Anyway, this week is going to be a better week. It has to be really. You hear me week? Don’t mess with me. I’m not in the mood!

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Blog a Day 241of365: The past week

So it’s been a hell of a week. I’ve been very vague about it up until now but I know a few people are a bit concerned so vent incoming!

First of all, I knew it’d be a manic week as work had given me full time hours thanks to my manager who was leaving for a promotion (he’s gone now, went a week or two ago), giving 3 people the same week off. There are only 7 people working in the store and only 4 out of those 7 can close the shop. Guess which 3 he let go on holiday?
Then my ‘new’ manager (my assistant manager had been promoted and he’s awesome, best manager you could hope for) was told he was being transferred permanently as of this week! So that pissed me off a tad.

Then last weekend my Mum was having a bad time of coping with things, not helped by the fact that I was hardly about as I was working so much. Then the Virgin media box went wrong meaning no TV. The engineer was meant to come out Wednesday. They didn’t. They turned up Friday in the end so no TV for nearly a week!

Also, the two other big things:

I’d applied for a job at my old employer a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted it but I was offered an interview. I turned it down because it looked like the good manager at work was staying and I really wasn’t sure about changing jobs. Then they called me again Wednesday to offer me another interview. I took it this time. Had the interview Friday, went brilliantly. Was offered the job by Friday lunchtime. I had a huge dilemma then as I really didn’t want to leave my current workmates even though the other job paid better and had more sociable hours. Then my manager announced that he was only going to a different store for 3 months and he’d be back permanently then. HUGE dilemma by then! Hardly slept worrying about what to do.

Saturday/yesterday I get a phone call saying my job offer had been withdrawn due to my past performance at the firm not being up to scratch!! I was furious. I wasn’t fussed about the actual job but I was furious as I have no idea what the problem is and as far as I know, my managers all loved me. I still keep in touch with them now, 4 years later. Also it turns out it’s possibly illegal for them to keep my records that long anyway (Mum’s friend’s daughter works in HR so knows the ins and outs – I might be checking the ACAS website to confirm later). Really annoyed I have a black mark against me somewhere though.

On the plus side, I’m ok where I am and my workmates are brilliant, but it’s the principle of it all really.

Finally, the other thing to go wrong: I effectively got kicked off my Msc course. I’m appealing it as I should still have another year to complete it (which in itself feels insurmountable but I feel like I owe it to my Mum and Dad) but it’s not looking good at all.

So since last weekend, it feels like a hell of a lot has changed yet returned straight back to where I stood last week as well! I guess at least it means I appreciate my workmates that bit more again. The other stuff though – ugh.

It’s been a hell of a week.

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Blog a Day 240of365: Dusting myself off

I’m not one for buzz words and motivational sayings that ultimately mean sod all, but dusting myself off seems to be the best thing for me to do at the moment.

It’s been an absolute hell of a week. I knew it would be hectic with lots of shifts at work but I didn’t anticipate all the other things that would go a bit wrong.

A very difficult first weekend for reasons I won’t go into. Also the TV/Virgin Media box went wrong which was surprisingly stressful. Thanks to Virgin’s incompetence it took until Friday morning to fix so nearly a week without TV. Grrr!

Something much bigger than that went really wrong mid week. I’ll be boringly elusive and say I won’t go into details just yet but it’s left me in a very awkward position. I’m waiting to hear back as to where to go from here if anywhere.

And then, the really chaotic thing. Something I didn’t expect appeared on Wednesday afternoon and I didn’t know what to do. This reappeared Friday leaving me with a rather difficult decision all through Friday meaning I slept like crap. Then this afternoon the opportunity was taken from me. Lovely eh?

Funnily enough though, at the moment I feel more relief than anything which probably sums it up perfectly.

While I’m off to work in about 30 minutes, I feel quite calm and collected. The first time I’ve felt this way all week! So that’s rather nice.

I’ve got to return to focusing on my writing now and dear old Resolution. While Steve’s been keeping things running smoothly, I’ve not been paying enough attention to the site this past week. No more of that. I’m back in business and just in time for the start of the Autumn rush.

Hurrah!

Pssst: all this positive thought is very much subject to change depending on what other things go a bit wrong for me!

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Blog a Day 239of365: A movie that is a guilty pleasure

I need an OneADay idea. This week has felt like a challenge in many ways. One of these reasons is when it comes to knowing what to write about.

My brain is a fuzzy mess. It’s leaping from one idea to another and doesn’t seem to have the vaguest clue what’s for the best. Too much has happened I think. My brain can’t cope with just how much has changed in a mere few days. A lot of soul searching is required I think.

For now though, ‘A movie that is a guilty pleasure’. I don’t have much guilt when it comes to the films I enjoy admittedly. If I like it, I like it. I’m not going to feel ashamed of it!

I think rather than one specific film, it’s more that I have an actor that is a guilty pleasure….oh but wait that means I just ramble about Bradley Cooper again and I’ve already done that.

In which case my guilty pleasure is the humble zombie movie. I’ll watch mostly anything with zombies in it. I was like this before the rest of the world decided that zombies had to be a part of absolutely everything so ha! I’m an innovator…probably. Many, many zombie films are pretty atrocious. I forgive them though. Except The Crazies, not true zombies, but that ending was terrible.

The original Dawn of The Dead is my favourite. And from a different perspective, Shaun of the Dead is one of my all time favourite films. In fact I think I might go watch it now. You never know. It might put my problems into perspective.

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Blog a Day 238of365: Drama Queenness

Sorry readers for being distinctly whiney and emo-teen-bloggerish this week. I didn’t intend to. I knew it’d be a long week but I didn’t quite appreciate just what other crap could go wrong in the meantime!

I also feel rather guilty/drama queenish when I rant and rave about things on Twitter but then don’t actually explain what the problem is. There are a few problems actually, some bigger than others. They’re all things I’d rather get straight in my head first though. One problem in particular I might not even voice to anyone. I used to be a relatively open person but in recent years, I’ve become much more private. It’s that fear of being judged or completely misunderstood I think. Sometimes it’s difficult to write down exactly how you feel in a way that means anyone – other than you – actually gets it!

Most of all, it feels like a terribly uncertain time. In every way possible. Rather annoying really. The fighter and optimist in me knows everything will work out in the end. The apprehensive part of me just wants everything to stay the same. The wimp in me just wants to walk away from a lot of things. It’s an interesting battle in my head.

Fortunately I had a good evening. Not obviously an evening that fixes everything. The problems aren’t that simple. But it was an evening that reminded me that I can still have fun. I spent the evening playing We Sing Encore with some friends. It was excellent fun even if I can’t really sing very well!

I’ve got no idea what tomorrow will bring but for now I suspect I should just put it all out of my mind for the night.

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