The funeral was yesterday. I’d have blogged about how stressed I was on Thursday and how spending the previous 10 days looking after my Mum (she’s had a really nasty sinus infection) had finally taken its toll on me. But annoyingly my ISP was having trouble which meant that some sites wouldn’t load. That included this one.

That feeling couldn’t be further than the truth today. I feel very much like a weight has been lifted. Everything was leading to that day and unlike my Dad’s funeral, I feel like I’m free. With my Dad it wasn’t like that at all as after all I still had to return to a house that didn’t have him in it. Someone who you just visit regularly is different.

So yeah. I now feel like I’m ready to reboot my life and all that. The thing is I also appreciate that I’m absolutely knackered mentally and had no life to speak of for a good few weeks now. So I’m going to be (hopefully) sensible and walk before I run.

I’ve worked out what I want to achieve. Here’s a sample of the things:

Work on my writing and get ahead with it all: I’m in a comfortable position at the moment. The 148apps work is flowing very nicely and I’m feeling safe. I need to get out of that comfort zone and work on stretching myself and getting more opportunities. When I say opportunities, I mean paid opportunities. Which means pitching hard and hopefully getting noticed. I would kill (probably not literally but needs must…;)) for an article on Eurogamer for instance or to be published in a magazine. I hope I’m good enough to be but ultimately, I need to work hard to find out!

Get fit: I really do need to get fitter. The last few difficult weeks have meant that I’ve been eating badly. While I’m not fat by any means, I could do with slimming down a little so that I feel comfortable with myself and I could certainly do with being fitter! I’ve got terrible stamina. I’m going to try to walk more and also move the exercise bike in front of the TV so I can use it while I play games. Sounds a little odd perhaps but I think it might well help a bit. The idea of any sort of group exercise fills me with dread so I’ll stick with those two ideas for now!

Gain more of a social life: I’ll write more about this another time as it’s a complex one. Ultimately though, I need to go out more. Plus I really need to go visit some friends that live further afield than where I live.

There are a few other bits and pieces like tidy and decorate this house which is in a pretty rough state, as well as cook more but that’s the main three covered.

It’s going to have to be a gradual thing with the writing though. I’m looking to truly try to kickstart all that at the end of the month. You see, this week is no good as of course it’s E3. The week after I assume everyone’s inboxes will still be massively overflowing. Plus that weekend I’m going away for a few days with my Mum to London. So I’m setting myself a date of a couple of weeks time to truly put myself out there. It’ll give me some time to flesh out my pitch ideas too which will be handy!

I think I’m up to it. I just need to prove to other people that I am!

2 Thoughts to “Post Funeral”

  1. Hope you’re alright Jen. I’m focussing on the whole pitching thing. Fit, I’m not the best, but I’m healthy and do a fair bit of walking. Social Life, too much, want some of mine?

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