So excluding the couple of days here and there where I was utterly stumped for ideas and knackered after a busy day, while it would have been easier to give up, I didn’t actually want to. So I didn’t.

For the most part, I did it for myself. It was lovely to have many comments about it all but it was particularly satisfying to do something solely for myself. Having said that, in April around the anniversary of my Dad’s death, I decided to bung up a JustGiving link. It’s only raised £20 which seems a terrible shame especially for a charity that helps a disease that really can strike at any time. Anyway, I’m not asking for a lot, but if you’ve read a fair few entries and enjoyed the year, chip in £1. Doesn’t have to be any more than that, everyone’s frequently poor at this time of year I know, but those £1s add up. The entry about it all is from April 20th.

Sermon over…

It’s been an interesting year. It’s gone quite well actually. Certainly compared to the previous couple of years.

My foot isn’t as bad as it was. It’s not perfect and the pessimist in me suspects it never will be now. I was particularly disheartened by it during the Eurogamer Expo in October but it’s getting there. It’s way better than it was this time last year where I was still in a lot of pain with it.

Going to the Eurogamer Expo was quite an event too. I haven’t travelled much in recent years so it was great to go to something like that and meet up with people like Sinan Kubba, Lewis Denby and Pete Davison. Going to London for a press event in July also meant I could meet up with Samdybrown too which was good

There’s also the fact that I’m now editor in chief for Resolution which is amazing. Really didn’t expect that at all and I’m proud of my accomplishment.

I’m also very pleased that I’m now no longer working for DVD rental shop and instead I can be self employed with my writing and earning more than I was there. I still miss my old workmates (although I visit regularly) but I don’t miss the actual work. It’s a great move for my mental well being as well as everything else. Hopefully things will just improve for 2011.

Even my social life has improved ever so slightly this year. Not hugely but that’s how awful it was in 2009! In saying that, I’m not doing anything for NYE today but oh well. Maybe next year.

Life is clearly a work in progress still but I’m feeling a bit more positive about the forthcoming year which is good.

As I write this, I’m skim reading my old entries from the year. I’ve got as far as April. Tough time of the year as March and April bring many difficult anniversaries. It’s difficult for me to read in places but also I’m quite pleased that I opened up so much. The current entry open however is a light hearted one, 10 ways to annoy a retail worker. I quite like that one.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t entice me to do this again for 2011. I’m not going to though. While I fully intend on blogging regularly (I have a plan for an entry tomorrow, funnily enough!), 3 times a week hopefully, I don’t fancy doing another OneADay. I’ve done it and I’m happy with how things stand for me. Some other OneADayers are planning on it though so do take a look over at The One A Day Project. Should make for some interesting entries over the year.

Anyway, enough waffle. Some of you poor sods have had to suffer it for the past year after all!

Thanks people for reading this While I’d have kept writing anyway, it was made all the better by having people comment and encourage me. I’ve made some good friends for this thingy. Don’t go too far though, I’ll still be blogging! Tomorrow in fact and I’ve got some interesting plans ahead too.

Is it weird that I kinda don’t want to press the publish button for fear that I’ve forgotten something and it’ll all be too late to blog as part of One A Day?

So go read my thoughts over there rather than here.

However, there are a few other titles deserving of something.

PS3 Exclusive
Heavy Rain

Yes it didn’t match all the ridiculously high expectations set for it, but I really enjoyed it. It was gripping enough that I looked past its flaws and foibles. I cared about all the characters and found myself thinking carefully about the moral dilemmas ahead of me. That and you could actually completely screw up without necessarily ‘failing’ which was original. It could have been more, sure, but what was there was still highly satisfying for me. It is admittedly not a game that I feel myself returning to very often though, despite initial adoration.

Xbox 360 Exclusive
Fable 3

Another flawed exclusive but one that I similarly adored. Sure, you still couldn’t plant that acorn and return to a tree, but it was charmingly fun. Ruling your own kingdom was entertaining and again, made you truly question your decisions, and just running around amongst the beautiful landscape was fun in its own right. Lovely stuff.

Wii Exclusive
Donkey Kong Country Returns

I’ve raved about this quite a bit. Having spent the afternoon watching a friend play it, I feel like raving even more. It’s just fantastic. The level design is wonderful and it’s a true challenge, a welcoming challenge in fact. Just buy it, will you? It’s brilliant. It’s not just a great Wii exclusive, it’s a great game for any console.

Ridiculous amount of hours put into but not quite deserving of a GOTY award
The Sims 3

Ahh The Sims 3, a guilty pleasure for many but it shouldn’t be. It’s a good game after all. I was hooked enough on the PC version but then the console version came along and threw achievements into the mix too. Far, far too addictive. It’s compelling stuff and the sheer wealth of options is great. You can create your own life story essentially which makes for fascinating gaming. It says it all really that it was The Sims 3 that delayed me from writing this entry this morning. I was too hooked on it and ran out of time.

Might have been GOTY
Deadly Premonition
Demon’s Souls

Both titles that I have in my possession (I’ve borrowed Demon’s Souls from a friend). Both titles that I’ve hardly played feeling that they deserve more time than I have available. I will get around to them but not in time for me to have an opinion in 2010 sadly. I suspect I’ll particularly like Deadly Premonition. I’m not so sure about Demon’s Souls but I certainly need to find out for myself. They could have been my two favourite games of the year but they’re not. Not yet at least.

Indie game
Recettear: An Item Shop’s Tale

Ahh Recettear, you narrowly beat Amnesia: The Dark Descent. It’s a fantastic concept – running your own JRPG style item shop. It’s much harder than that though as you have to pay off debt within a very strict time limit meaning you have to raise money fast. It’s done by the usual ‘buy low, sell high’ method but also by exploring dungeons with hired adventurers which makes for an entertaining change of pace. It’s a brilliant little game, it really is. It’s £6.49 on Steam at the moment in the sale, perfect time to buy it.

Old faithful award
World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft deserves something. I’ve not been subscribed all year but the amount of time I put into it at the start of the year and in the last few months, makes it well worth some attention. It’s much easier to level up now, perhaps a little too easy, but it’s great fun. It’s the perfect game to drop into after a long day.

Wonder what 2011 will bring?

Most overrated
Kick Ass

Let’s kick off with a controversial one then. Kick Ass isn’t as good as the hype suggests. Sure it’s good fun but if you listened to some people, you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s the greatest film ever. It’s not. It’s partly down to the main character. He’s just not very good and he’s intensely dislikeable. It’s Hitgirl that steals the show. She’s brilliant. Nicholas Cage isn’t in it enough to make a great impact although when he is about, he is very good. The focus is just too much on Kick Ass and Red Mist for my liking when I found other characters much more interesting (albeit a bit two dimensional but I can appreciate why this was deliberate). I’m not saying it’s a bad film, just not as ‘OMGamazing’ as some people would make out. In saying that, if I was still 15, I reckon I’d have adored it.

Most watched at the cinema
The A-Team

To wreck all my dubious credibility, it’s The A-Team. I saw this three times at the cinema while runner up prizes went to Iron Man 2 and Inception with two viewings each. I saw it twice with my Mum and once with my friend as she wanted to see that or Inception and I didn’t really fancy seeing Inception three times in the space of 10 days. I found it good, mindless fun. Many others didn’t, that’s fair enough. Bradley Cooper in it was a good reason to keep watching for me anyhow.

Most thought provoking
Unthinkable

I only know one other person who’s actually seen this so I suspect it’s been rather forgotten. It’s about Samuel L Jackson who’s a black-ops interrogator who has to get information out of terrorist lunatic, Michael Sheen, who’s planted a series of nuclear bombs across the US. It’s not action packed in the slightest but it is extremely uncomfortable viewing. Essentially it’s a debate of how far must you go in order to save thousands of lives. It’s uncomfortable not just because of the kind of violence and torture portrayed but because of how it makes you think of how you’d deal with such a situation too. It’s very interesting stuff really but a bit grim.

Redemption of the year
Leonardo DiCaprio

Before 2009, Leonardo DiCaprio was that irritating prettyboy actor who I’d only seen in Titanic previously, and found intensely annoying. I didn’t give him the time of day since. Bad I know, but bear in mind when Titanic came out, I was at the peak age that meant all my friends thought Leo was sooooooo gorgeous and lovely. When I just thought ‘meh, far too pretty and girly looking, plus the guy can’t act’. If I’d only ever seen him in Titanic, I’d still be thinking this too because the film is utterly, utterly dire. Then I saw the trailer for Shutter Island and it looked really rather good, so I gave him a chance and saw it. I’m converted now. Even more so after watching Inception (where admittedly, there are some similarities to the two characters), I’ve since watched a couple of other films of his such as The Aviator and The Departed which have also been very good. A friend encouraged me to watch The Basketball Diaries too so I’ve got that but not seen it yet. So yeah, well done DiCaprio, you turned out alright.

Ignored by everyone but really quite good
The Ghost

Seemingly even less popular than Unthinkable (I don’t know anyone who’s seen it!) is Roman Polanski’s The Ghost (sometimes called The Ghost Writer). Starring Ewan McGregor and Pierce Brosnan, it’s a quite compelling political thriller. Ewan McGregor is a ghost writer for Pierce Brosnan, British Prime Minster (and extraordinarily similar to Tony Blair), and it’s not long before he uncovers various dodgy dealings associated with the UK’s ‘special relationship’ with the US. It’s clever and well written. Give it a chance.

Film that delivered exactly what I expected
Iron Man 2

I had to find a category for Iron Man somewhere. While others were disappointed by Iron Man 2 (and to be fair, the end is over way too abruptly), I still really enjoyed it. It’s a little lighter than the first one which makes me think they were aiming for something different anyway, thus making it difficult to compare the two directly. I still maintain that Terence Howard made a much better Rhodey than Don Cheadle but you can’t have everything I guess. Sam Rockwell was brilliant though.

Biggest surprise
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Another slightly irrational dislike of mine, I can’t stand Michael Cera. He’s irritating, he’s whiney, he can’t really act and he only ever plays one part – the absolute loser who inexplicably still gets the girl. I’ve had people try to argue in favour of Cera but sod it, I think I’m allowed at least one irrational thing and he can be it. It made me intensely wary of Scott Pilgrim as I didn’t really know anything about the comic books and I couldn’t stand him. It was Edgar Wright though and he’s great so I risked it. I now own half the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels and plan on owning the blu-ray in the very near future. I still can’t stand Cera though, but he did a good job here – again playing the exact same role as always. Maybe in 15 years time he’ll redeem himself like DiCaprio, or maybe not.

Second best film of the year
Inception

Yes, second best film of the year. I loved Inception but I don’t think it’s Christopher Nolan’s best (I’d give that accolade to Memento or The Prestige). It’s a mainstream Nolan film without a doubt which makes it an all together different beast to his previous work (excluding the Batman stuff) but it is highly enjoyable. Funnily enough I don’t think DiCaprio is the true star of it, it’s too much of an ensemble piece so everyone’s great in it. As it should be with any good heist movie. Ultimately though, it’s a sheer spectacle. I do worry about the people who find it difficult to keep track of and have trouble getting their head around it though, I found it extremely simple to understand. can’t wait to watch it again on Blu-ray in the near future.

Film of the Year
The Social Network

The Social Network is amazing. Being a David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin fan no doubt helps a lot but it truly is brilliant. I wasn’t sure how a story about something so dry could work but I had nothing to fear. Sorkin’s dialogue is sublime as was the case with The West Wing. It’s intelligent and never patronising. It’s long but never excessive, always feeling tightly woven. Some fantastic acting ability on display too, particularly Andrew Garfield who showed great promise. Just excellent really.

I haven’t seen Toy Story 3 yet so no idea where that would feature, if at all, here. For 2011, I’m currently most looking forward to The King’s Speech as that looks very interesting. To be honest though, I don’t keep an eye hugely on upcoming films. I wait till they’re nearer to release to read about them.

My Mum had a wander around some freakishly busy clothes shops which resemblanced jumble sales rather than regular shops.

We wandered into HMV which had quite a poor selection of things on offer. I did buy Night at the Museum and Public Enemies on DVD for £3 each though.

Then we went to Game. I expected Game to be a bit crap. It usually is after all. I was pleasantly surprised.

I quickly picked up two PSP games: Monster Hunter: Freedom Unite for £4.99 and Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions for £7.99. Bargain!

There were quite a few tempting 360 games but ones that I feared would be left unplayed considering my 360 backlog. Bionic Commando for £4.99 was nearly worth it though. It was a similar tale with the PS3 and Wii games.

So I joined the queue. The queue that ran from one side of the quite long shop to the door. It took 20 minutes of standing. Still, Monster Hunter: Freedom Unite for £5? Worth it.

Also, while I was in the queue, I spotted Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light for £12.99 so snapped that up too.

Oh and before leaving the retail park, we went to WH Smith which had some rather lovely looking cookbooks on offer as well as a Wind-Up Pac-Man & Ghost which my Mum kindly treated me to.

Good afternoon out really. 2 DVDs and 3 games for £32? Bargain. And a nice evening planned ahead full of portable gaming delights. Lovely.

I’m still in bed while I write this although getting up in a minute. I’ve been playing Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit for the last couple of hours. I still suck but it’s fun. I’ve also spent some time drawing up a very basic plan of what to write about for the last few days of OneADay. I’ve got an idea now, except for tomorrow, for each day which should help a lot. It’ll be weird to not have to blog every day after New Year’s Eve but it feels like a good idea now. I’ve greatly enjoyed the past year but I’ll be pleased to not be compelled to write here every single day. I do however intend on blogging a couple of times a week, maybe more, as I assume I’ve got some regular readers now and I do like writing after all!

Back to today though. Once I get up, I’ll crack on with sorting out lunch. Lunch is going to consist of bubble and squeak, mashed potatoes, cheese, home made potato salad, shop bought potato salad, cold meat and random pickles and chutneys. It’ll be delicious!

Then I think I’m going to spend the afternoon watching films and reading some of the books I got for Christmas, while eating vast quantities of chocolate and shortbread.

It should be a nice day. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel suitably rejuvenated too

It was really good fun despite the fact I was nearly falling asleep in a few places due to crappiness. Even my Grandmother was in a rare good mood and wasn’t racist or nasty to anyone. Amazing!

Presents wise I gained a box of Milk Tray, a Lindt Father Christmas, a Simon’s Cat book and calender and Metropolis on blu-ray. Rather good in other words!

Before I went out, I played some Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit for the first time. Really like it so far. I’m pretty crap unfortunately but the Autolog makes a good game into something special. It’s hugely satisfying beating friends. Certainly be playing it more tomorrow hopefully.

I played some of Enslaved yesterday afternoon too and that was promising. Not really played enough to fully get into it but it seems right up my street so far.

I’m hoping tomorrow will be a lazier day and I’ll get some time for gaming, although currently I’ll be equally content with just lazing in front of the TV with some good films. Christmas for me is more about the family than gaming I guess.

So yes, short entry. Sorry and all. Tired and not much of interest to say about the day really as it was all rather nice but ultimately uneventful!

Phew, not many days to go now. I’ll miss this for a bit but not on days like today!

But despite being half asleep, I’ve turned it on and I’m typing away. Merry Christmas everyone

My day has been good. Didn’t get to bed till 3.30am but was up at 10am to open presents. Also, the busy week has taken my toll and I’ve gone back to feeling nearly as rough as I did last week. Oh well.

Anyway, I came downstairs to this:

Rather exciting! Lots of presents for me and my Mum.

A few hours later and I had this little pile:

Most notably: two Scott Pilgrim books, Simon Pegg’s autobiography, 1001 video games you must play before you die book, District 9 on DVD, Prince of Persia Collection and Enslaved on PS3, Inception blu-ray, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit for the 360 (thank you Nokkon! You rock as always ), a funky Mario bracelet, much chocolate, a cool t-shirt stating ‘Attention zombies: This brain has already been consumed by video games’…ohh and….GOOMBA HAT!

A few more hours later and this was heartily consumed:

Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, sage and onion stuffing, Yorkshire puddings (made from scratch by me, was rather proud of how they tasted too), cauliflower cheese, swede and carrot mash, carrots, Brussels sprouts and of course gravy.

It was delicious. Yes I know there’s no turkey, I don’t really like turkey and much prefer eating my body weight in veg and Yorkshire puddings. So I did.

Anyway, I’m off to go back to crashing in front of the TV under a blanket.

Merry Christmas all

First of all was the regular, mundane stuff like hoovering and cleaning out the guinea pigs’ cage. Then I finished up my present wrapping. Then we went out to Mumbles to have a wander and pick up some last minute presents for each other. It wasn’t overly successful and there was no Christmas spirit to be seen which was a shame as it was great there last Christmas Eve.

So we decided we wouldn’t be phased and tried to figure out where to go next for some spirit. Perhaps oddly we settled on the aforementioned rental shop that I used to work at. Not that branch exactly, the other local branch where an old workmate and good friend works. He seemed to be lacking in Christmas spirit when we first got there (can’t blame him, he was in work after all!) but I think we cheered him up and he cheered us up too.

We went home after that for some lunch before quickly heading off to do more while the mood was there and the ice wasn’t too treacherous.

We visited two sets of family friends then. I don’t usually visit the first set but it was really nice to see them. Kept the spirit going although a part of me felt so very envious of their lovely family atmosphere – all the family round and all that. The second set were as stressed as anything but quickly calmed which was good.

By the time we got home from all that, it was 9pm. We still had labels to put on presents, vegetables to peel and cut, a phone call to make and maybe even some dinner.

My Mum phoned a cousin of ours. Not sure what the official term is but he’s my Dad’s cousin but really he’s as good as my Dad’s father as his real one wasn’t about (it’s a complicated story). He’s in his 80s now and was widowed a few months after my Mum was. Such a lovely man. As you’d expect, I see him as my Grandfather although I haven’t seen him in a long while. I have very fond memories of him and his wife. The problem lies in the fact that he sounds so much like my Dad. An older version of him of course but he really does. It’s tough to talk to him on the phone because of this but it also makes it all the more important. Plus he talked to me about my Dad which was lovely, but ugh, tough. It made me cry but not for the first time today.

Really must go see him soon. We’ll have to scrounge up the money somehow for the petrol/hotel/all that. He lives in Hatfield in a small bungalow so it’s not really a day trip thing sadly but we really must.

Doing the labels was simple enough work. The vegetables was hard work as I really could do with being stronger to cut bloody parsnips and huge potatoes but it’s all done now for the morning. Oh and the turkey is in the oven now too.

So I’m sitting here watching Love Actually with my Mum. It’s tough. Besides the subject matter in places (such as Liam Neeson’s story in the film, as well as now in life), it mattered a lot to my family. My Dad loved it. He wasn’t a huge rom com fan but he really liked Love Actually.

For a few years it became a tradition that we’d watch Love Actually every Christmas Eve all together. The last Christmas, we nearly didn’t as my Mum pointed out we knew the script but me and my Dad convinced her anyway. I’m glad we did.

We haven’t seen it since. Too hard to do. I decided I needed to do it this year though. It felt right. It’s made me cry twice so far and I’m only 30 minutes in. I’ll get there though and I’ll feel pleased that I managed to do it. It’s weird seeing it through different eyes, so to speak.

So yes, that’s my Christmas Eve. It probably sounds rather sombre but it’s been really quite nice actually. Just sad too in places.

Anyway, hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas

The run up to Christmas always seems to be rather frantic, even if it is almost always self inflicted.

I’m still feeling distinctly under par and I’m coughing lots, but I hit the shops. Almost literally.

It was only a few bits and pieces but it all adds up when the shops are packed. That and I popped into my old workplace to sign a sympathy card for the old workmate I mentioned yesterday.

Got home with plans to do various tidying based things, do all my present wrapping, that kind of thing. I did get half the wrapping done but for the most part, I sat in front of the TV dozing.

Well done me.

Tomorrow I’m finishing the wrapping, visiting a family friend to exchange presents, phoning a different friend, tidying, cleaning out the guinea pigs’ cage, visiting two different rental stores to wish friends merry Christmas and at least two hundred squillion other things….ok, maybe just a couple of other things. It’ll be nice when Christmas Eve evening hits and I can just relax.

It’s all utterly self inflicted really but still *yawns*

On the plus side, Epic Mickey arrived today which was a pleasant semi surprise. Looking forward to playing it despite some rather mixed reviews.

For now I’m working my way through PoP: The Forgotten Sands which is enjoyable but unchallenging. I can see why some people would be unkeen but I like the franchise, even if it isn’t a patch on The Sands of Time. I’ll write some more about games when I get a chance.

Yeah, sorry, it’s going to be a sad entry for me today.

Last week, a good friend of mine’s Dad died and his funeral is tomorrow. Terribly sad, brought back many memories of my Dad dying.

It’s Christmas at the end of the week. I’m starting to feel very on edge about it all as it’s tough to do with just me and my Mum. It’ll be fun on the day but the build up is tense. Putting up the Christmas tree at the weekend reinforced this hugely.

Earlier today, I found out that an old workmate of mine’s Dad died suddenly this morning. My old workmate’s only 22 so his Dad really can’t be old at all. I was 23 when my Dad died so it all feels rather close to home. It reminds me how raw some wounds are.

I’m still never that sure how well I’m dealing with it all. The fact that time is ever ticking away yet things can catch me so easily or I realise I’m reacting very differently to something compared to how I used to be. I think I deal with things ok but think is the operative word. There’s no guarantee of it. I worry that bottling things up so that I can function easily is perhaps not ideal but then it’s what I’ve always done so…

I guess it’s the old text book ‘there is no correct way of dealing with these things’ thing.

Friends seem to think I’m doing ok, and others in similar positions seem to feel the same way as me so…

Who knows, I guess only time will tell. But then again life isn’t a rehearsal…..still, I think I’m doing ok. I just wonder if I could do better. Or maybe I’m just an impatient perfectionist. Could be that too.