The last few OneADays have been terribly uninspiring I know. That sums up my brain really. I’ve been lulled and ground down by the monotony of life. A life I never chose.
Certain elements I can’t change of course, but there are some that I can and should change.
Once upon a time nearly 2 years ago, I got a job in retail. It was never meant to be a long term thing. Previously I’d never stuck to the same job for longer than a year. Why would this be any different?
And yet here I am, still in it with my priorities all screwed up. The past couple of months, it’s gradually been ruling me. At first it wasn’t so bad, it was for a good reason. Lately though, it hasn’t been. Not at all. Instead I hang on out of fear for the unknown. Bit silly really when the ‘known’ makes you so fed up.
Sometimes I think it’s just a matter of getting to a point in a job and thinking ‘it’s served its purpose. I need to go elsewhere before I go insane’. After all, it’s not my career. It is just a job. Which is how I find myself here seriously contemplating whether I can get by being self employed. Whether I can finally just about pay the bills writing. I’m fortunate that my bills are pretty low thanks to a very understanding mother, but the bills are still there. So I need to make sure I can do it.
My main source of regular income at the moment is through 148Apps and I reckon if I work hard and return to treating it all like a full time job, I can do it. It’s a little scary though.
This life I have at the moment isn’t what I planned when talking things through with my Mum the night after my Dad died. So surely it’s worth a try? You know, while I’m young and able to screw up and all that.