Blog a Day 238of365: Drama Queenness

Sorry readers for being distinctly whiney and emo-teen-bloggerish this week. I didn’t intend to. I knew it’d be a long week but I didn’t quite appreciate just what other crap could go wrong in the meantime!

I also feel rather guilty/drama queenish when I rant and rave about things on Twitter but then don’t actually explain what the problem is. There are a few problems actually, some bigger than others. They’re all things I’d rather get straight in my head first though. One problem in particular I might not even voice to anyone. I used to be a relatively open person but in recent years, I’ve become much more private. It’s that fear of being judged or completely misunderstood I think. Sometimes it’s difficult to write down exactly how you feel in a way that means anyone – other than you – actually gets it!

Most of all, it feels like a terribly uncertain time. In every way possible. Rather annoying really. The fighter and optimist in me knows everything will work out in the end. The apprehensive part of me just wants everything to stay the same. The wimp in me just wants to walk away from a lot of things. It’s an interesting battle in my head.

Fortunately I had a good evening. Not obviously an evening that fixes everything. The problems aren’t that simple. But it was an evening that reminded me that I can still have fun. I spent the evening playing We Sing Encore with some friends. It was excellent fun even if I can’t really sing very well!

I’ve got no idea what tomorrow will bring but for now I suspect I should just put it all out of my mind for the night.

2 thoughts on “Blog a Day 238of365: Drama Queenness

  1. Pete Davison

    Best way. Find something to distract you. The worst time—I find, anyway—is just when trying to go to sleep. There’s nothing else going on, and usually no sound, either, so your brain, devoid of stimulation just goes “Right then! Here’s all the things you’ve been avoiding thinking about all day… *FWOOOMP*.”

    (“*FWOOMP* is an onomatopoeic representation of something heavy falling on you. I’m picturing a mattress. A symbolic mattress.)

    Sorry to hear things have been sucky. I, as you know, know the feeling very well. I still don’t have a lot of faith that things ARE going to work out for me personally. But, well, something’s got to happen. I feel like I’ve been saying that for a long time now…

  2. Sinan

    I totally get the being whiny on Twitter but not saying why thing. It’s difficult because you need somewhere to vent, but you can’t really say why, not even to your closest friends. I’ve learnt now to try and step away from Twitter during those momenys, even if it’s just because I realize I’m not helping myself by doing that, but sometimes all I end up doing is leave an angry, vague tweet and then go sulk. Not my finest hours.

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