Blog a Day 155of365: Doubts

Sometimes I look at what I’m doing and I worry. I worry that I’m barking up the wrong tree and don’t stand a chance of achieving my ambitions. I’ve had a few people say I’m good enough but I guess it’s hard to see it in yourself. Bizarrely though it requires a lot of self belief to keep trying so I guess I do have that drive really.

Days like these though I can’t help but look and ponder just whether I’ll ever make it. Whether I’m good enough to make it for one thing.

Living in the ‘wrong’ area of the country hardly helps matters and there’s not much I can do about that at the moment. I suspect an internship/work experience for a week or two would probably help me a treat but that’s a bit of a logistical quandary. I need money, somewhere to stay, oh and the opportunity with a site or magazine! I reckon I could probably find somewhere to stay at a push in Bristol which might be near enough to Bath but there’s still the other issues to bear in mind.

It’s an awkward one and I’m clearly desperate to be in a profession that requires a lot of blind faith until presumably you either make it or you give up.

As it stands though I guess I should just turn my brain off. Or at least slow it down on days like this. Worrying about what may or may not be is never really a great idea. Nor is dwelling on negative matters. Pity my brain doesn’t seem to accept that!

For now though, I’ll force my brain to shut up, have a relaxing evening and keep doing what I’m doing. At least until next time the doubts rear their ugly head!

5 Thoughts to “Blog a Day 155of365: Doubts”

  1. As far as I can tell, the doubts never go away. Ever. Maybe try a different approach… because, in any creative field, the doubts make you constantly question whether what you’re doing is good enough. They make you push for “better”. Which is a good thing. So maybe instead of trying to push the doubts away, you could give them a smile, welcome them in, let them have their say so long as they keep their feet off the table and use indoor voices? Use them as work-enhancing friends rather than confidence-crippling enemies?

    Easier said than done, but sometimes I find making room for a “negative” emotion in your life can make things go far more smoothly than constantly battling against an immovable object!

    For what it’s worth, I love your writing.

  2. Ashton Raze

    Rhiarti hit the nail on the head there, so there’s not much more to say about that, but I will echo the final line. I’m a big fan of your writing, and you absolutely deserve to make it. I’m absolutely confident you will too, the right opportunity will come along.

  3. Ashton Raze

    Repetition of ‘absolutely’ there. I bring shame upon myself. This is what I get for staying up till 6 am working. 😡

  4. Rachel and Ashton said it better than I ever could have. You know have a big fan in me too. There’ll always be doubts, but you need to keep the drive nonetheless. Strive to make it and you will. The only surprise in all of this is that it hasn’t happened already.

  5. Haly

    Thanks guys for the continued support 🙂

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