Blog a Day 115of365: Can’t Settle to Anything

I can’t settle to anything today which is irritating. I’m feeling a bit conflicted mood wise anyway which isn’t helping.

I’ve felt rather disheartened about my writing the past few days, but since having a chat about it and putting things into perspective, I’ve felt better about it all. Plus I’ve had a few more positive things occur.

One particularly notable thing is that one of the columns I write has been featured on The Escapist in the GamePeople Calling column. The Girl With a Sensitive Heart takes a look at my Considered Gamer column and in particular, my experiences with Call of Duty 2. Although it’s not quite the same as having a full article on The Escapist, I still feel rather pleased nonetheless!

Admittedly it’s no wonder I feel a bit unsettled today. It’s two years since my Dad’s funeral. A tough (and also very surreal) day. The time between April 12th and the 25th 2008 was pretty surreal really. Delivering the funeral invites, buying a pair of pyjamas for my Dad to be cremated in, arranging food for after the funeral, the funeral itself, after the funeral when I had to talk to people I didn’t really know until I retreated upstairs with my friends.

That was bizarre too though as three of them were my childhood friends and hadn’t been in the same room for years. I haven’t seen one of them much since which is a real shame as I miss seeing him. Sending another friend to ‘rescue’ a much loved England football mug because people had descended upon our kitchen and hadn’t realised that some mugs were there for decoration rather than for general use. Thanks again Kitten for sorting that out!

Oh and not forgetting my mother’s sister who I hadn’t seen for a good 10 years but who just seemed to sit in a corner refusing to talk to anyone. Lovely.

Or the trip to take Kitten back to the train station (kudos to her for travelling from Liverpool to Swansea just for the day so she could be with me and my Mum!) where there was a McDonalds detour because I had a desperate urge to eat fast food.

The last few people didn’t leave until midnightish. I didn’t realise that things could go on for so long. I was exhausted in every sense of the word!

Weird day and a very weird fortnight. I should probably write more about it sometime, it might be good for me.

But yeah. At least April’s nearly over. I don’t like April now. In my head it’s best to just write the month off and try to not make any plans or worry about the future. My head’s just not in the right place for it.

Today I spent some of the morning playing Final Fantasy XIII but now I just can’t settle to anything. Tried playing a bit of World of Warcraft and tried settling into a film but it’s not happening. I’ve not even got much of an appetite which is unlike me. Annoying.