Blog a Day 70of365: Playstation 2 Confessions

Is it possible to go back to an ‘older’ console? My head says no but my heart wants to say yes.

Back during the height of the PS2’s era I wasn’t a big console gamer. I played a lot of PC games and a boyfriend at the time got me into the Xbox. So I played the likes of Halo and Grand Theft Auto. I made the time for Final Fantasy 10 eventually, as well as a few other PS2 games however there’s still a sizeable gap in my gaming knowledge of that time.

This is a confessional. There are far too many great PS2 games that I haven’t played. Here’s just a few examples of some of the greats I’ve missed:

Devil May Cry 3 (played number 4 and liked it)
Dragon Quest VIII (my Mum has put 200+hrs into it though!)
Final Fantasy X-2 (I know it’s meant to suck but I feel I should experience it)
Gran Turismo 3 and 4 (played and loved the first two)
Ico
Kingdom Hearts 2 (have played the first one at least!)
Metal Gear Solid 2 and 3 (Played the first, loved it, played a tiny bit of MGS2 but otherwise not played an MGS until 4 that I got for Christmas)
Okami
Persona 3 and 4 (played and enjoyed Persona 2)
Shadow of the Colossus
Silent Hill 2-4 (I’ve played the first and loved it, but not played another Silent Hill until Homecoming)
SSX (soon to be rectified thanks to Sinan Kubba kindly lending me SSX3)

Quite embarrassing really isn’t it? I’m pretty knowledgable with games but I have a sizeable gap when it comes to the PS2 which is frankly pathetic.

Can you go back though? I’m not so sure.

I’ve still got my PS2 but I’ve given it to my Mum and I’d feel awkward asking for it back. Plus who wants to cross someone with a Dragon Quest VIII addiction? I’m tempted when I have a bit more money spare to buy a PS2 off eBay but would it be foolhardy? Probably.

I’ve got enough to be getting on with as it is. Keeping up with the current generation is hard enough let alone trying to go backwards!

Food for thought though.

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Blog a Day 69of365: Experiences with Final Fantasy

Sleep still isn’t really happening. In fact it was worse last night but skimming over that…

I’ve been playing a bit of Final Fantasy XIII. Not as much as I’d have liked. Been busy with various bits and pieces so only had a couple of evenings with it. I’m really enjoying it though. It’s reminded me of how excited the series has made me in the past.

Predictably I started with Final Fantasy VII at the tender age of 13 (I’ve sinced played 1-6). I can’t remember where I first read about it but something about it really excited me. I’d played RPGs before on the Megadrive and Gameboy and text adventures on the Commodore 64, but this looked special.

I asked for it for Christmas. It was a big request considering it cost £44.99 but my ever brilliant parents bought me it. I was so excited by Christmas Day that I prodded every wrapped present until I figured out where it was and persuaded my parents to let me unwrap it first. I adored every second of it, completing it numerous times and soaking up all the FAQs and game guides that I could for it.

When Final Fantasy 8 was announced, I was unbelievably excited. I saved up my pocket money so that I could pre-order it and collect it on release day. Due to a mix up I received the prized pre-order bonus of a FF8 demo disc on the day I picked up the game which was a shame. I rushed home with it having pored over the manual in the car. I settle down in front of my TV with a bottle of fanta to keep me hydrated and turned it on. The opening FMV was stunning, truly amazing at the time. The rest of the game…oh dear.

In hindsight it was amazing, it’s one of my favourite Final Fantasys now. But at the time it wasn’t Final Fantasy 7, it stood no chance of living up to the ridiculous amount of hype that my young brain had instilled. Until Final Fantasy XIII, it was the only Final Fantasy game I acquired on release day.

Final Fantasy 9 was good but I played it at the wrong stage of my life. I still haven’t completed it and I doubt I will unless it gets released on the PSN Store so I can stick it on my PSP.

Final Fantasy 10 was stunning and despite whiney Tidus, I loved it a lot. It took me a while to finally complete it though as during the PS2’s era I wasn’t a big console gamer.

I’ve never played Final Fantasy 11. It’s one of the few MMORPGs I’ve never played actually. Maybe I should rectify that at some point.

Final Fantasy 12. Ugh. Did not get on with it. But also probably didn’t give it enough time.

Final Fantasy 13 though….I’d deliberately avoided reading anything about it. I did hear the PS3 vs Xbox 360 debate though, and the fact that it is incredibly slow to start off, and that it’s not meant to be very good. I’ve really enjoyed my few hours with it though. Yup it’s slow to start, hideously slow at first. But it gives me the same buzz that I felt with Final Fantasy 8, but without the silly levels of hype. Instead, I just feel excited and happy. It’s a good feeling.

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Blog a Day 68of365: Sleep deprivation

I slept very badly again last night. Annoying considering I’d had a couple of more bearable nights and was hoping I was in the clear. Instead, last night was full of more vivid dreams. Ugh.

Waking up feeling drained does not make for a productive day. It really hasn’t been a great day. While I managed to visit work to rent Fantastic Mr Fox and Bioshock 2 (wanted Battlefield Bad Company 2 but all copies were out) and went to Asda so that there’s actually food in the house, nothing else has really been accomplished.

In fact since I’ve got home I’ve felt worse and rather lightheaded which makes me wonder if tonight I’m fighting more than sleep deprivation and that I’ve actually got a virus of some sort. I feel worn out and I’ve got a strong feeling that when I do settle down for some games later, I’ll probably end up falling asleep.

I strongly suspect if this goes on much longer (and I’ve got a bad feeling it will) I’d be best off cutting back a little on some voluntary work and sorting out my head again. Stable, sleeping fine Jen is always better than insomniac, slightly insane Jen after all.

See I’m even talking about myself in the third person now!

But yeah…sorry about the poor entry that’s only really of relevance of myself! Was going to ramble about my fanboy/girl love of Final Fantasy but I’ll leave that for another day.

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Blog a Day 67of365: Radio Silence

I didn’t realise how vital social networking services and news bulletins are for me until today.

You see, I’ve been avoiding the news, Twitter and Facebook for most of the day. I recorded the Oscars last night but didn’t have the chance to watch it all until 1pm this afternoon. Meaning I haven’t been able to read any news, check Twitter or Facebook until nearly 6pm, all in case I find out by accident who won all the awards thus ruining the point a bit.

It’s terrible but I did feel a little lost without any knowledge of the news since Sunday night and not being able to check what was going on in the world of Twitter and Facebook.

It’s also been rather relaxing to be so cut off from the world. I’ve checked my emails but that’s about it.

My evening plan is to play Final Fantasy XIII and that’s about it. Lovely.

Will I regret it tomorrow when I have more to do than if I’d done some work today? Probably, but it’s just what I need I think. It reminds me how to relax. Something I’m absolutely awful at doing.

On a final note, hurrah for the winner of Best Film (and possibly et al, I’m trying to avoid spoilers for those waiting for the highlights )!!

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Blog a Day 66of365: Lack of Sleep

I finally had a decent-ish night’s sleep last night after over a week of nightmares waking me up regularly and making me feel physically rested yet mentally wrecked.

Over the course of the week I’d suffered many, many nightmares, almost all bordering on flashbacks. At first it was mostly just dreams of seeing my Dad die nearly 2 years ago. I thought I’d got through the flashback stage but it seems it’s returned for a (hopefully) short while. My imagination shifted after the first few days and the dreams turned into a mixture of all of my fears. Being trapped, being alone, a few dreams that were clearly based on my days of being bullied at school (nearly 20 years ago now!).

By about Thursday night I’d given in hoping for sleep. I mostly spent my mornings analysing what had happened in the dream and what fear it was focusing on. It made me feel terribly insecure during the day. Spending each night facing your fears does I guess.

Nothing seemed to fix my lack of sleep. I tried reading until my eyes couldn’t stay open, I tried relaxing as much as possible with no TV or book to entertain me before sleeping, I tried avoiding difficult to digest food anywhere near before bed. Nothing worked. I hoped that after a shift at work I’d be tired enough to just sleep. Nope.

Last night I finally just slept. I woke up a few times in the night but not due to nightmares. I didn’t feel rested this morning. Instead I felt like someone who had just managed to have a glimpse of what they’d been missing all week. I figure it’ll take a few more good nights till I feel refreshed and human again. I still feel insecure too. All the fears and worries that have hit me over the past week are still at the front of my mind a little too much for my liking.

Will nightmareless sleep happen again tonight? Who knows. I hope so!

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